The Lord’s Prayer-Part 2

There is so much in this week’s few verses, that I almost hate to take the time to recap. Fortunately, Laura and I are a team, so, I trust between the two of us, we’ll cover it as well as we can–and hopefully create a hunger for each of you to dig in even more deeply.

Last week in our Sermon on the Mount series, we began to dig into the first few phrases of the Lord’s Prayer. The Lord’s prayer comes in the middle of Jesus’ teaching on When you give…When you pray…When you fast–the three pillars that keep us connected to God and to community. Let’s remind ourselves what Jesus says about prayer:

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

 This, then, is how you should pray:

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
 Give us today our daily bread.
 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
 And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.

(Matthew 6:9-13)

Last week we dug into the significance of God as our Father, of the hallowedness of God’s name, of His kingdom and His will being done on earth as in heaven. This week the verses turn toward us. It’s significant to note that the verses don’t turn toward “me”. Each of us is part of a greater whole, a kingdom people who God wants to use to bring His kingdom of love and light to the world.

Pastor John pointed out that it seems odd that we’ve just addressed and honored God and his desires and then we say “give us”. In our English understanding, it’s almost as if we say, God, you’re great and awesome and your kingdom and will matter a lot, but now, I’m going to demand some things from you…give me my bread today…

So, digging in a bit to what Jesus is actually teaching us to pray is a good idea. In the address of the Lord’s Prayer, the word hallowed is an imperative verb. I don’t think I knew it was a verb until Pastor John pointed it out. I’ve always thought of it as an adjective describing God’s name, so this is something new to ponder. I love that. As is my practice, I looked it up for myself in the concordance, and sure enough…it’s an imperative verb. What it means is that we hallow, acknowledge, separate from profane things God’s name today, tomorrow, and for always. It’s an action that we carry out.

“Give” in the phrase Give us this day our daily bread, similar to hallowed is an acknowledgment, a declaration, that it is God who provides for us. The really interesting word in this passage, however, is daily. 

The Greek word “daily”, found in the Lord’s Prayer in Luke and in Matthew, is not found anywhere else in the Bible. Scholars and commentators have been puzzled for centuries about its actual meaning. It was not a word commonly used in the Aramaic language. I find that fascinating! What was Jesus trying to communicate in using this obscure word? I read through a number of different commentaries and, like Pastor John, can see that the most common understanding falls in line with “now, tomorrow, and continuously”, so the phrase can be thought of as God, you provide now, tomorrow and forever; you are the God who gives, who provides, who will never stop.

Even the word “bread” is discussed heavily among biblical scholars…was Jesus teaching about actual bread? Daily sustenance? Spiritual sustenance? Many scholars believe this was a declaration of dependence upon God for life–not a desire for opulent living (more than enough), nor a desire to be destitute–just a humble and grateful dependence upon God for all of our daily needs.

This makes sense to me in light of Thy kingdom come, thy will be done” and a verse that we haven’t yet come to in the Sermon on the Mount.  In Matthew 6:31-33, Jesus teaches So don’t worry and don’t keep saying, ‘What shall we eat, what shall we drink or what shall we wear?! That is what pagans are always looking for; your Heavenly Father knows that you need them all. Set your heart on the kingdom and his goodness, and all these things will come to you as a matter of course. (J.B. Phillips)

More familiar translations say Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.  

When we seek first “thy kingdom come, thy will be done” God will take care of the rest. Our total dependence is upon him.  Looking at the lives of Jesus and his disciples, they traveled constantly.  Jesus was basically homeless. For sustenance, sometimes they fished, sometimes they ate in the home of friends, sometimes they ate in other people’s homes. Sometimes they slept in gardens, sometimes they were in the homes of friends or family–they were rich in relationship, they were rich in community, they were rich in spiritual matters: they weren’t rich in material goods, yet they never went without what they needed for life and sustenance. God provided daily what they needed as they traveled sharing the good news of God’s loving kingdom being right here, right now. God promises to do the same thing for us when we seek His kingdom first.

The next phrase: Forgive us our transgressions as we forgive those who transgress against us, is also (not surprisingly) filled with deep meaning.

The one word sin in our English translations is one of five words found in the original languages. “Sin” can mean:

  1. Missing the mark
  2. Crossing the line
  3. Slipping up
  4. Knowing right and choosing wrong
  5. That which is owed

In the Lord’s Prayer, number five is the word used, so the phrase can be prayed, God, you forgive us that which is owed, as we forgive those who owe us something. 

Jesus asks us to pray this prayer on a daily basis, so each day we have the opportunity to acknowledge that we haven’t done life perfectly, we haven’t lived up to our responsibilities, we owe something,  and we can bring that to God. We don’t come to God in shame, but with honesty and humility. In one of the prayers that I pray most days of my life (sometimes multiple times a day), there is a portion that states: I have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what I have done and by what I have left undone. I have not loved you with my whole heart. I have not loved my neighbor as myself. I am truly sorry and I humbly repent. 

Basically — God, I own it. Will you please forgive me? (And God will–he already has).

Then, we acknowledge that we desire to forgive those who owe us; those who haven’t lived up to our expectations, who owe us an apology, an explanation, an acknowledgement of how they hurt us,  or something else.

Jesus wants us to forgive like he forgave–even if they don’t ask. Oooo…this can be hard!

Pastor John encouraged us to hold in our thoughts the way God treats us. Romans 5 reminds us that we were enemies of God, we hadn’t asked for forgiveness or reconciliation and yet, God loved us, initiated relationship with us, and forgave us, without our asking when he placed himself on the cross in the person of Jesus.

That’s how God wants us to be. When we harbor anger and bitterness it destroys community. When we choose grace instead of entitlement or getting even it changes the world. When we forgive this way, we embody the beatitudes, we let go of our understanding, our rights, and listen to Jesus teach us, you have heard it said, but I say...  We become the answer to Jesus’ prayer…Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth.

When we pray these forgiveness words daily, acknowledging their meaning and desiring their fruit, the behavior of others doesn’t stick to us anymore. We learn to let the offenses go; we leave others in God’s hands, and we become transformed more and more into the likeness of Christ as a result.

As we dive deep, there is plenty to ponder in these two phrases. I’ll leave the third phrase to Laura.

–Luanne

As I begin to type my portion, I am sorting through hours of thoughts… I have no idea where this is going to go yet, so I’ll start by bringing you into the space I’m in right now…

I am pondering the third phrase of this week’s message, the meanings I discovered as I prepared to write, and I’ll get there–but not yet. When I opened the website I always use to find definitions for the original Greek words used in our scriptures (Blue Letter Bible), my eyes landed on their verse of the day. I’ve never before noticed that part of this particular webpage. Today, it was Ephesians 2:14, For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…” When I read the words, I paused, because this verse has been meaningful to me for many years. I remember the room I was in nearly a decade ago when it struck me that Jesus doesn’t simply give us peace, but He IS our peace. If we have him, if he lives within us, we always have peace. I was thinking about the verse a day or two ago, and here it was again, reminding me…

I moved on from there to dig into the meanings of the words in our passage. As I studied, I remembered something I had written about in this blog previously and set off to find that post. Scrolling through dozens of posts from a couple years back, my eyes landed on a highlighted verse. It was Ephesians 2:14. Again. As I read the familiar words again, these lyrics floated up from the quiet music I have on: “Be our peace… Christ our peace…”

Hmm. Okay…

I continued scrolling, looking for one specific post, and found myself caught up in our words from seasons past. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I read pieces of Luanne’s heart and my own captured in pictures painted with words from days gone by. Each post took me back to the time it was written, to the circumstances that we found ourselves in during those moments in time. I read about the kingdom, about love, about Jesus and how everything really does revolve around him and his way of love. We’ve written the same thing in different words over and over again. And woven into these recurring themes are threads of our own lives, our stories, lessons learned, the concepts we are still wrestling with–the ways our experiences illustrate the truths that have come to define our lives.

This blog chronicles both our church’s and our own daily walks with God. Luanne shared above that “daily” in this week’s passage most clearly means, “now, tomorrow, and continuously.” She continues, telling us that the words Give us this day our daily bread, “…can be thought of as God, you provide now, tomorrow and forever; you are the God who gives, who provides, who will never stop.” The words I read from days gone by, they chronicle our daily seeking of the God who is our provider. Through the joys and the pain, the thread is God’s great love and his kingdom coming to and through us.

Just a minute ago, as I wrote about Jesus being our peace, these words floated up from the song that played “randomly”: “Your peace will make us one…” 

Friends, even as I type in this moment, I’m not sure where the Spirit is taking us. But I am paying attention…

Let’s jump back into our verses and we’ll see where we end up…

The last phrase from Sunday’s passage is Matthew 6:13:

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

The Message paraphrases it this way:

Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.

Again, there is much for us to explore in these few words. “Lead us not into temptation” is an interesting line that can trip us up a bit. As we consider what Jesus is saying to us here, it is important to remember these words from his brother James:

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed…” (James 1:13-14, NIV)

What Pastor John identified on Sunday is that the statement “Lead us not into temptation…” is a declaration of our need for God to lead us rather than us leading ourselves. As we pray these words, we are acknowledging that where we lead ourselves is often nowhere good, and we need to be led away from those things that would bind and cause pain. The Message captures this idea above when it says, “Keep us safe from ourselves…” 

The second half of the verse is, “…but deliver us from the evil one.” Many English translations of this verse don’t include the word “one,” and simply read, “deliver us from evil.” A deep dive into the original Greek tells us that the broader “evil” is the working definition with a deeper root being a word that means “pain.” We’ll come back to that in just a moment… There is another word we need to look at first. It is the word deliver. What do you think of when you hear that word? Rescue? Birth? Save? It does mean all of those things in our English usage of it, but none of those capture what it means in this verse. It does, in its root form allude to a rescue, but a rescue that occurs by “drawing to oneself… like the flow of a current.” How beautiful is that? 

Back to evil… I mentioned that the word “pain” is a deeper root than “evil.” There is a deeper root word, though, and I find the meaning of this deepest root word so significant to our discussion of The Lord’s Prayer as a whole… The word that becomes “pain” and then “evil” is, in its original form, “poor.” And it means, “to toil for daily subsistence.” 

Luanne just wrote about asking God for our daily bread, to be our provider today, every day, forever. And the prayer finishes with words that mean (if you’ll allow my paraphrase):

“We need you to lead us away from the things that would bind us. Save us from ourselves. Rescue us from our pain–from our poverty, our toil for daily subsistence–by drawing us like a current to yourself.”

These words, built out of the definitions of the original root words, sound a whole lot different from our understanding of “temptation” and “evil”, but it flows a whole lot more with the preceding parts of the prayer, doesn’t it?

Before I close this out, I want to paint one last word picture…

Merriam-Webster’s online thesaurus lists one phrase as synonymous with the verb “toil.”

“Sweat blood”

This is the one synonymous phrase given for this word. Wow. We are to pray–in declarative form–God, draw us like a current to yourself, away from our struggle for daily survival, away from sweating blood. Lead us your way. Give us what we need each day, every day, forever, as you always do. Help us to offer forgiveness as you have. 

Jesus, in The Lord’s Prayer is teaching us how to ask God for HIM. I am fairly undone as I consider all that we’ve looked at and studied here…

Our holy, huge, sovereign yet personal, intimate Father—Your kingdom come…

The kingdom comes through Jesus…

Your will be done…

God’s will looks like Jesus…

Give us our daily bread, the bread we need today, every day, forever…

Jesus is our bread of life…

Forgive us as we, through you, forgive…

The forgiveness of God hung on display in the person of Jesus on the cross…

Lead us in your way…

Jesus is our way, our truth, our life…

Draw us like a current to yourself…

Jesus is the way to the Father…

Away from our toiling, away from sweating blood for our daily survival…

Jesus sweat blood as he prepared to empty all of himself that we might be saved–made whole. He toiled, he sweat blood, on our behalf, that he might become our peace.  

The entirety of The Lord’s Prayer points us to Jesus. He taught his followers to ask God for the one thing that meets every last need–himself. 

There are many antonyms to the word toil, but one stood out to me among the others: rest. I’ll wrap this up with a passage that has become a recurring theme in my life, one I have included so many times before, out of Eugene Peterson’s gorgeous Message paraphrase:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Come to Jesus, always to Jesus, daily and forever to Jesus, “For He, himself, is our peace…”

The Lord’s Prayer does what the Sermon on the Mount does, what all of scripture does: It points us back to Jesus–our way, our truth, our life, our daily bread and living water. And as we come to our Father on the current of Jesus our Savior, we are delivered into the image of Christ as we become “an anticipation of the age to come” (Expanded Lord’s Prayer, Brian Zahnd), as the Kingdom comes through us. 

My prayer for us is that we are formed and transformed as this prayer that Jesus gifted us becomes part of our daily lives–as He, himself is woven deeper and deeper into the core of who we are…

–Laura

Last Words: Judas

Judas. It’s not a name that very many parents name their sons. Judas the traitor. Judas the thief. Judas the betrayer. Judas the beloved?

We don’t know a great deal about Judas. We know that he was the son of Simon Iscariot    (John 13:26). We know that he was one of the twelve disciples chosen by Jesus. We know that the other disciples counted him as one of their number who shared in their ministry. (Acts 1:17) We know that Judas was in charge of the money. (John 13:29), and that sometimes he helped himself to the funds (John 12:6). And we know that he loses his way.

Pastor Beau reminded us that we really don’t know what led Judas to betray Jesus. We don’t know what his ultimate motivation was. Of course, we know that the betrayal of Jesus was prophesied. We also know that God gives us the ability to make our own choices, and we know that Judas was susceptible to this particular temptation.

All of the disciples were human. All had issues. Peter was impetuous. James and John were called the “sons of thunder” and wanted to call down lightning on a Samaritan village that didn’t allow them to pass through. Thomas was a doubter. Like us, each one had weaknesses that could have led to their downfall. So, to say Judas was the “bad guy” doesn’t really work. Scripture is clear that we are all sinners and we all need a Savior. That’s why Jesus came.

Even knowing all of that, we want to know why Judas made his choice. Pastor Beau gave us four possible maybes.

1. Money.  I wrote above that Judas was the treasurer, that sometimes he stole out of the treasury, and we know that he sold Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Was greed his motivation?  Pastor Beau pointed out that in the Old Testament thirty pieces of silver was the price paid to the master of a slave if the slave was gored by an ox and killed. (Ex. 21:32) Thirty pieces of silver compensated for the life of the slave.  Judas sold Jesus for the value of a gored slave. Beau asked us if Jesus doesn’t have utmost value to us, what does? What are we willing to sell Jesus for?

2. Hurt. In John 6:70-71 Jesus says, “Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!” (He meant Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, who though one of the Twelve, was later to betray him.) Did Judas know that Jesus was talking about him at this point? And in John 12, Judas is indignant that Mary poured expensive perfume on Jesus feet. He comments in verse 5, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.  Then Jesus publicly rebuked him and said: “Leave her alone…it was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.”

Have you ever been called out publicly? It’s not a fun moment. Jesus always spoke the truth in love, but if Judas didn’t understand the love of Jesus, the truth just hurt. Was he harboring anger and hurt toward Jesus? Was that his motivation?

3. Jealousy. Judas was not part of Jesus’ inner circle among the disciples. Peter, James, and John experienced things with Jesus that the others didn’t. Did that upset Judas? Was he jealous of the closeness the others shared?

We must always guard against comparing our stories to the stories of others. If we catch ourselves saying, “If only I had that”, or “If I didn’t have this”, we are getting into dangerous territory. Each of us has gifts, each of us has a role to play in the kingdom of heaven. If we are jealous of someone else, we miss what Jesus wants to do in our story.

4. Disillusionment.  Many times the disciples didn’t understand what Jesus was saying. Many times Jesus had to explain things to them. It’s very possible that Jesus didn’t look anything like the Messiah they expected.  Many Israelites were expecting an earthly ruler who would overthrow the Roman government, who would make all the right political moves, and who would put Israel on top.  Jesus didn’t seem to be meeting those expectations.

Is it possible that Judas was trying to force his hand?  Is it possible that when Judas came to the garden with a large crowd who had swords and clubs that he was hoping this would be the moment that the warrior Messiah would rise up? Instead Jesus said to him, Friend, do what you came to do. (Mt. 26: 50)  I looked up the word “friend” in the Greek. It means “comrade, partner, in kindly address, friend, my good friend.”

Jesus leaves me speechless over and over. Even in this moment, he was loving Judas. The thought of that makes me want to cry. Jesus is so kind, so good, and so misunderstood.

Do we have false expectations about Jesus? Are we disillusioned with Him?

Judas seemed to act on his impulses and take matters into his own hands. It didn’t go well for him.

Judas’ ultimate enemy was Satan.  Satan prowls like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour (1st Peter 5:8).  In this moment that someone was Judas. Both Luke 22:3 and John 13:27 tell us that Satan entered into Judas…  Judas was weak, making his own decisions, and he took the bait.

We see this prowling other times in Scripture. All the way back in the book of Genesis, God tells Cain: Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master. (4:7). Cain does not listen, he kills his brother, and bears the consequences of that choice.

God gives Satan permission to test Job. Job proves faithful to God, and is commended for his faithfulness.

Jesus tells Peter that Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” (Lk. 22:31-32).  

Simon Peter’s faith did fail, and he betrayed Jesus. But he came back. He allowed Jesus to restore Him.

I believe with all my heart, the same could have been true for Judas. Judas’ last recorded words are found in Mathew 27: 3-5. When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”  

At this point my heart breaks. Judas, once again took matters into his own hands and took his own life. He did not understand the depth of the love of God. He did not understand that Jesus did not come to condemn the world, but to save the world. (Jn 3:17)

Judas misunderstood. Judas had weaknesses. Judas messed up.

I think the tragedy of Judas’ life has much to teach us. Judas’ weaknesses killed him—whether it was greed, hurt, jealousy, disillusionment, or something else, it cost him his life.

Do we know where we are weak? Do we know what it is that can pull us away from full on commitment to Christ? Is it social media, time management, gossip, shopping, over-eating, lust, porn, alcohol, dishonesty, money, drugs, TV, sports, self-pity, self-aggrandizement, promiscuity, politics, self-righteousness, prejudice, unhealthy friendships, self-protection, chasing adrenaline rushes, mental fantasy, comparison, envy, bitterness, unforgiveness? The list could go on and on. Where are you weak? Where are you susceptible to attack?

I recently read the phrase, “We are not punished for our sin, but by our sin.” Our weaknesses, the things we are susceptible to must be acknowledged and surrendered over and over to Jesus. Our weaknesses help us to remember how desperately we need our Savior. Apart from him, we are self destructive, others destructive, and we have a very real enemy who wants to take us out. Jesus knew this when He taught us to pray “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Peter shows us what to do after an epic failure. Peter, after denying Jesus three times, felt remorse; he went out and wept bitterly. Yet Peter did not ultimately give up. Jesus restored Peter, gave him a purpose and unleashed him as a powerful ambassador for The Kingdom.

Judas felt remorse. He acknowledged his sin. But he didn’t understand the unconditional love of God. He thought his story was over, so he took his own life.

All of us are weak. Paul tells us that no one is righteous. No one. He tells us that we have all sinned and fallen short of God’s perfect standard. He tells us about his own wrestling match with sin in Romans 7, and finishes that portion of scripture by saying What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me…. Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Rm. 7:24-25)

Jesus delivers us from our sin. Let that sink in. He always has the final word! When we are being sifted Jesus prays for us, he intercedes on our behalf. When we are weak, He is strong. He sympathizes with our weaknesses because he was tempted in every way but did not sin. He is for us, not against us.

Please know, no matter your story, as long as you are alive, there is hope. You have not committed the one sin that Jesus’ death on the cross didn’t cover. There is complete and full forgiveness for you. There is restoration. There is new life. There is joy. There is Holy Spirit power to carry out the call that God has given you. You are loved. Breathe it in. Bask in it. Jesus loves you. Don’t ever give up.  Your story is not over. Believe it!

—Luanne

Luanne wrote, “I think the tragedy of Judas’ life has much to teach us. Judas’ weaknesses killed him…”

I wholeheartedly agree with her. Until this Sunday’s message, I’ve never attempted to relate to Judas. His story has made me feel sad, mad, confused… but that’s as far as I have ever gone. There’s a strong tendency to move into the “us/them” mindset when it comes to this particular man, at least for me. I think in general, we as Christians have always “othered” Judas-even to the point of demonizing him-rather than taking the time to examine if any of Judas’ flaws can also be found in us…

Last week, the question Beau asked us to consider was, “Who is Jesus to you?”. This week, he asked,

“Which Jesus are you pursuing?”

It’s a question we have to ask ourselves, and be willing to answer honestly. I believe it’s a huge part of the answer to all of the questions we have about Judas and his choices–and it can also show us the why behind our own decisions.

We don’t know exactly what Judas thought about Jesus. Whatever beliefs he may have held, his actions proved that the Jesus he was pursuing didn’t actually exist.

Beau took us into the scene in the Garden of Gethsemane when Judas’ betrayal of Jesus took place. (Matthew 26) I’ve known the story for a long time, but I’ve never taken notice of some of the things Beau highlighted in the text. I knew they came to arrest Him, Judas betrayed Him with a kiss, and Peter cut off a guy’s ear, which Jesus then healed. Those are the basics that I’ve always paid attention to. But the way they came for Jesus, and when (at night when none of His followers were around…), hadn’t stood out to me as anything more than background details of the main story. But there is so much more here, especially as it relates to Judas and which Jesus he may have been pursuing… In this account, we see a glimpse of what his beliefs may have been. This was one of many occurrences when Judas took things into his own hands. And as Luanne wrote about above, he may have been trying to force Jesus’ hand here. To force him into the role, the mold, that he felt Jesus, as King, should occupy.

Beau referenced parts of Psalm 2, a psalm that speaks of the coming Messiah, in his message. Verses 8-12 read this way in the New Living Translation:

“‘Only ask, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance, the whole earth as your possession. You will break them with an iron rod and smash them like clay pots.’” Now then, you kings, act wisely! Be warned, you rulers of the earth! Serve the Lord with reverent fear, and rejoice with trembling. Submit to God’s royal son, or he will become angry, and you will be destroyed in the midst of all your activities—for his anger flares up in an instant.

If Judas was familiar with this text, which he most likely was, it stands to reason that the Jesus standing in front of him didn’t look like he expected the Messiah to look. Perhaps he thought he could force Jesus into the box he’d created in his own mind for Him–a box marked by rule, authority, power, wealth, control-things that would all also benefit Judas and feed his desires. Maybe he had it in his head that he could be part of provoking Jesus to step up and oppose those who opposed Him…

Sometimes I want Jesus to oppose (even take out…) those who oppose Him, too. And more specifically, those who seem to stand in the way of His Kingdom coming the way thatthink it should. And sometimes… I just want Him to take out those who oppose me… Those who hurt me, make me angry, stand in my way.

Sometimes I pursue a Jesus who doesn’t exist, too. 

When I get caught up in my own pain, selfishness, pride, I create a version of Jesus who works on behalf of me, who makes my life easier and better… It breaks my heart to even write that, to admit that it can be true about me. But when I choose my will, when I take things into my own hands, I can be Judas. When Satan dangles the perfect temptation in front of my weakness and I take a bite, I fall prey to it… just like Judas did

I’ve betrayed Jesus, too. In a million little ways and in big ways. I’ve allowed selfishness to guide my heart-I’ve looked for a Jesus who would fulfill my wants and expectations. I’ve let hurt and jealousy paralyze me rather than let their presence lead me to the feet of Jesus. And I’ve been disillusioned when the Jesus I expected hasn’t shown up. That’s where the similarities between me and Judas end, though…

Because even at my worst, the Jesus I wasn’t pursuing–the real Jesusnever stopped pursuing me. He has come to me over and over–with words of truth soaked through with love, calling me “friend” and “beloved”. My weakness, mistakes, and full-blown sin have never stood in the way for the real Jesus. He doesn’t turn away when He sees them in me. In fact, it’s the depth of my brokenness, my weakness, that He moves toward. Because in my weakness, He is strong. I am so grateful that He doesn’t take out all those who oppose Him–because I’ve been, and still can be at times, one of those opposers…

There is a song that we sang at church this week that has been wreaking havoc in my heart. It’s called “All I Have is Christ”. It goes like this:

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
O Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

The Jesus we sing about in this song, the one who loved me first, who looked upon my helpless state and decided to suffer in my place, to bear the wrath that was mine… I want to always pursue this Jesus. The Suffering Savior is, indeed, the Conquering King. But He conquered His way… Not mine. And His way is always better. No matter the depth of pain, shame, hopelessness we may feel, Jesus longs to move into it. Our darkness doesn’t scare Him away. Because the real Jesus is blazing Glory-light that scatters even the deepest darkness. It’s strong enough to have scattered all of Judas’ darkness–if he would have let the real Jesus save him. Tragically, Judas’ darkness overwhelmed him before the light of hope had a chance to write a different ending to his story…

Too many stories have been left unfinished. Hopelessness has won too many times. There is a different way… a way that leads to life instead of death…There is a Hope that stands amidst torrents of grief and is unshaken by the winds of shame. There is a Light that shines across dark and murky waters and shows us the way to shore. There is a Love that can absorb our hate, our jealousy, our selfishness–every drop of our sin. The truth is, this Love has already absorbed every drop of sinfulness into Himself. He already paid the debt we owe. And He stands ready and waiting to absorb us–each messy, broken story of our lives–into His Life. He longs to absorb our sordid history into His Story and rewrite our days in red.

This is the Jesus who pursues us. Is this the Jesus we’re pursuing?

–Laura

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